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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?